Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Inside Our Four Walls

What happens when you enter your house?  The other day I was sitting in the house and noticed I was completely unaware of what was going on outside the four walls of my house.  It occurred to me that many of us probably do the same thing.  We walk into our homes and forget about the rest of the world.  We become instantly immersed in our space.  I found this to be true no matter where I was!  I am wondering if anyone else has this same experience and what are their thoughts about it.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Gift of Gaining Personal Control

On top of all the other things I have been thinking about of late, I have also been thinking about how much control we have over our lives.  When I get into a discussion with someone about having control over emotions (depressing) it appears I am being unrealistic.  If I think about what it means to not be a victim I think about gaining control over the thing that could control me.  The same goes for depressing.  Having a sense of control over something helps me to feel empowered.  I believe that is what we should attempt to give to everyone we encounter who is "broken."

Getting What I Want

For the last few days I have done presentations or been in a public forum with individuals and when the event is over I have felt down (emotionally exhausted).  After thinking about it I have come to the conclusion that I enjoy having my way.  I don't think this makes me any different than anyone else.  Aren't I a mess! Getting upset with life because people don't behave the way I want them to behave.  External control psychology!  I want to have what I want and I want people see what I see and appreciate what I appreciate the way I want it done!    

I will continue practicing giving information and not thinking about what people do with the information once I have let it go.  Hard!  But definitely possible.  It's kind of like a gift.  Once you give it away it is no longer yours to do anything about.  Perhaps, I can think of my messages as little jewels, gifts I give away for the new owner to use as they will.  I can hope the gifts are taken care of but I won't spend any time thinking about them once they have left my lips.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Things I Remember

Isn't it funny how you can just be sitting somewhere and a thought/memory pops into your mind.  This morning while I was making some oatmeal for breakfast I suddenly had a memory of my mother in the kitchen making oatmeal for us as children.  It always felt like she created whatever meal she made for us with so much love.  It wasn't just oatmeal.  Somedays it was oatmeal with a little dollop of vanilla ice cream.  She would make such a big deal out it and we sat their and ate every word of what she said up.

Being a mother is a hard job.  I think sometimes it's a job some think of as simple or insignificant.  Our mother made it feel like it was her most important job.  They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day...breaking the fast from overnight.  But, maybe it should be something else.  For me, and I think this is why I have the memory,  our mother made it an important part of our day.  It was a time for us to look at the person who loved us more than anything and carry that love with us throughout the day.


Thursday, March 17, 2011

When do you know you've had enough?

When we've called someone 10 times and we don't get a call back.  When you aren't sure when or if the person you are "talking to" is telling you the truth.  When your brain says enough is enough but you just hang on for one more try.  This could be a signal you have reached the end of a long or short trip down the path of pain.

What is the life lesson for those of us who keep on keeping on?  Perhaps, we should give up the idea that we have to be long suffering, forgiving more than is necessary.  Who are we making the sacrifice for?    How does it help us to suffer?  For me, the idea of having enough means I have done a searching inventory of my behavior and determined that what I'm doing is not getting me any closer to what I really want.  Unless what I'm trying to get to is misery.  But, I am not interested in being miserable any longer than is absolutely necessary!  The only action to take is to do something different.  After the first disappointment search your mind and the situation to see if it's worth what you really want.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

What if?

What if today was the last day you had to live? What would you do? Who would you spend the time with? Maybe if we were living each day as if it were our last we would think about how we are spending the few moments we have. We might think about how we treat the people we are with who will be responsible for carrying on our legacy. Perhaps we would even think about the legacy.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


Lately, it seems I have been having lots of conversations about selfishness.  I have been forced to think about all of the negative connotations associated with the word.  What occurs to me is that in some instances it is almost impossible not to be selfish.  Sure, there are people who are totally selfish but they are few as compared to the majority of people we encounter.  Children are self-centered, but that is by design.  If they weren't it would be very difficult for them to survive.  It is up to us as adults to teach children how to be more other-focused.

As I think about it even now, I can't think of any person who with all of their personal sacrifices was without some thought of themselves.  How is it possible?  We all need to eat, sleep, and be clothed.

It is very important that we think about others.  But, how can we take care of someone else when we haven't taken care of ourselves?  I am not advocating selfishness.  It can be very destructive, in my opinion, for people to think only of themselves.  What I am suggesting is we stop pushing against one idea, learn to embrace it, and then move on to something different.  We aren't totally selfish nor are we all totally selfless. Something in the middle sounds about right to me.  What do you think?