Affect Expression

This is a topic I talk about almost every day. There are at least a hundred words to describe how we feel. No matter how old or how well trained we sometimes inappropriately express how we feel. I am not talking about our physical wellbeing. We might be able to pinpoint the place on our bodies that is hurting but many of us have trouble expressing our emotions accurately. Yesterday, I was stressed out and instead of just saying I was stressed I went on and on about "the plan" which only served to add to the stress levels of others around me. How do we communicate more effectively with the people around us how we are feeling? Luckily, I was with people who love and care about me. They will overlooked my transgression. Spending some time thinking about how we feel and then how we communicate this to others might be a good idea.

Choosing Happiness

Some of my days are filled with joy, contentment...happiness.  Others are tortured by unhappiness.  It is a fact of my life.  I am no longer ashamed to tell anyone I have spent a good deal of my life unhappy.   I am equally excited to share with anyone who will listen that I have stopped living in a deep, dark pit I have called depression.  It has not been an easy journey nor have I reached my final destination.  I am 100% less sad most of the time these days than I can ever remember being for many of the years I have been alive.  But, it is not easy.  Every once in a while sadness comes to visit.  In the last couple of weeks things haven't gone the way I wanted, I have felt alone, I did not feel accepted, whatever and I have found myself drifting back towards the edge of that dark, bottomless pit. It almost feels like it is calling me the same as an old friend would.  There was a time when I would have gotten close to the edge wanting desperately to stay out of it and I would have been unsuccessful.  These days, however, it is a little easier to stay out of that horrible pit.

Tonight I am writing this knowing someone might read it.  Maybe I am hoping someone will read it and understand they are not alone.  It is so important that we begin to understand how important we all are to each other.

I am happy with people and I am happy alone.  I am happy because I want to be not because I have anything or anyone in particular.  Everywhere I look there are articles about what we really want/need to be happy.  I don't think there is a single answer for all of us.  There is no one thing that would create happiness for me exactly the same as it would for you.  Unless it is our sense of knowing it is a very subjective experience.  Knowing that it does not come from without but from within.  If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, happiness in within the heart of the seeker.  If I want it I can have it.  If I want to find negative things that drain me of my sense of peace and happiness then I will find them.  I need to be happy because when I am, I am more creative which makes me more productive.  I believe I have known unhappiness so that I can really appreciate happiness.  I have lived with the heavy dark weight of sadness so that I could appreciate the light airy feel of happiness.  I prefer this feeling to what I have had in the past.

I have written about this before and I will probably write about it again.  I am on a journey.  Happiness is a journey not a destination.

Thank you for traveling part-way down this road with me.

Our Four Walls -expanded

What an interesting topic!  Everyone has a different reaction to the concept of the four walls.  Some find it to comforting and others not so much.  Sometimes the walls are permeable and sometimes they are not.  For some the walls are close possibly do not extend beyond their physical being and for others it goes beyond the doors into the outer limits of their space.  I haven't been able to extend my walls.  I think I enjoy being able to come inside, even with what may appear to be chaos, and immerse myself in what feels like comfort within my four walls.

What do you think?

Defining Success

Success is a very subjective term.  We throw it around all of the time.  There is an invisible standard somewhere that supposedly determines for everyone what it is.  But, I have my own definition and I would like to share it with this group.  Success, for me, has nothing to do with the number of degrees one has or how much money you make.  It is reflected in the kind of life I live.  It means I can get my day started when I need to get it started.  It means I have time to exercise most days if not everyday.  It means I am capable of being with the people I want to be with, comfortably.  I can work as hard as I feel I need to or not.  I am capable of having as much fun as I can with the people in my life or by myself.  Of course, it also means I have enough money to pay my bills, save for retirement and buy the things I need and some of the things I want.  I can travel as little or as much as I'd like.  I am not afraid.

What do you think?

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month - What are you doing?

We talk about keeping children safe but what are we doing to make this happen?  The Rainbow House CRC in Warner Robins is sponsoring several events this month to raise awareness about child abuse.  Do you know who or where they are?  Do you know how many children in your community abused each year?  

Get involved.

Inside Our Four Walls

What happens when you enter your house?  The other day I was sitting in the house and noticed I was completely unaware of what was going on outside the four walls of my house.  It occurred to me that many of us probably do the same thing.  We walk into our homes and forget about the rest of the world.  We become instantly immersed in our space.  I found this to be true no matter where I was!  I am wondering if anyone else has this same experience and what are their thoughts about it.

The Gift of Gaining Personal Control

On top of all the other things I have been thinking about of late, I have also been thinking about how much control we have over our lives.  When I get into a discussion with someone about having control over emotions (depressing) it appears I am being unrealistic.  If I think about what it means to not be a victim I think about gaining control over the thing that could control me.  The same goes for depressing.  Having a sense of control over something helps me to feel empowered.  I believe that is what we should attempt to give to everyone we encounter who is "broken."

Getting What I Want

For the last few days I have done presentations or been in a public forum with individuals and when the event is over I have felt down (emotionally exhausted).  After thinking about it I have come to the conclusion that I enjoy having my way.  I don't think this makes me any different than anyone else.  Aren't I a mess! Getting upset with life because people don't behave the way I want them to behave.  External control psychology!  I want to have what I want and I want people see what I see and appreciate what I appreciate the way I want it done!    

I will continue practicing giving information and not thinking about what people do with the information once I have let it go.  Hard!  But definitely possible.  It's kind of like a gift.  Once you give it away it is no longer yours to do anything about.  Perhaps, I can think of my messages as little jewels, gifts I give away for the new owner to use as they will.  I can hope the gifts are taken care of but I won't spend any time thinking about them once they have left my lips.

Things I Remember

Isn't it funny how you can just be sitting somewhere and a thought/memory pops into your mind.  This morning while I was making some oatmeal for breakfast I suddenly had a memory of my mother in the kitchen making oatmeal for us as children.  It always felt like she created whatever meal she made for us with so much love.  It wasn't just oatmeal.  Somedays it was oatmeal with a little dollop of vanilla ice cream.  She would make such a big deal out it and we sat their and ate every word of what she said up.

Being a mother is a hard job.  I think sometimes it's a job some think of as simple or insignificant.  Our mother made it feel like it was her most important job.  They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day...breaking the fast from overnight.  But, maybe it should be something else.  For me, and I think this is why I have the memory,  our mother made it an important part of our day.  It was a time for us to look at the person who loved us more than anything and carry that love with us throughout the day.

Peace

When do you know you've had enough?

When we've called someone 10 times and we don't get a call back.  When you aren't sure when or if the person you are "talking to" is telling you the truth.  When your brain says enough is enough but you just hang on for one more try.  This could be a signal you have reached the end of a long or short trip down the path of pain.

What is the life lesson for those of us who keep on keeping on?  Perhaps, we should give up the idea that we have to be long suffering, forgiving more than is necessary.  Who are we making the sacrifice for?    How does it help us to suffer?  For me, the idea of having enough means I have done a searching inventory of my behavior and determined that what I'm doing is not getting me any closer to what I really want.  Unless what I'm trying to get to is misery.  But, I am not interested in being miserable any longer than is absolutely necessary!  The only action to take is to do something different.  After the first disappointment search your mind and the situation to see if it's worth what you really want.

What if?

What if today was the last day you had to live? What would you do? Who would you spend the time with? Maybe if we were living each day as if it were our last we would think about how we are spending the few moments we have. We might think about how we treat the people we are with who will be responsible for carrying on our legacy. Perhaps we would even think about the legacy.

Selfishness-WOW

Lately, it seems I have been having lots of conversations about selfishness.  I have been forced to think about all of the negative connotations associated with the word.  What occurs to me is that in some instances it is almost impossible not to be selfish.  Sure, there are people who are totally selfish but they are few as compared to the majority of people we encounter.  Children are self-centered, but that is by design.  If they weren't it would be very difficult for them to survive.  It is up to us as adults to teach children how to be more other-focused.

As I think about it even now, I can't think of any person who with all of their personal sacrifices was without some thought of themselves.  How is it possible?  We all need to eat, sleep, and be clothed.

It is very important that we think about others.  But, how can we take care of someone else when we haven't taken care of ourselves?  I am not advocating selfishness.  It can be very destructive, in my opinion, for people to think only of themselves.  What I am suggesting is we stop pushing against one idea, learn to embrace it, and then move on to something different.  We aren't totally selfish nor are we all totally selfless. Something in the middle sounds about right to me.  What do you think?

What To Do When You Get Stuck

It does not matter who we are, where we are from or where we are going...we all seem to get stuck at some point in time.  I don't know about anyone else but I feel like I am constantly on the go.  But sometimes it feels like I'm moving but not going anywhere.  It doesn't happen often but when it does I stop all forward motion.  I don't stop moving, I just don't move forward.  I am a gerbil on a wheel going a hundred miles an hour in a circle!  How do I get off this thing?

It's not easy.  It kind of feels good to keep doing what you are doing but it also feels unproductive.  You are doing something - ineffective as it may be - you are doing something.  I wonder what would happen if we (me/you) would take a risk and just stop the moving.  Sure, it sounds like we are playing in to the "stuck" but maybe what we are doing is taking a deep breath in and gathering our thoughts and energy so that we can do something more effective.  Maybe what we have to do is stop the train so we can get the cars in the right order.

What do you think?

Welcome!

Welcome to the Blog of Blogs!  We are just starting out and would love to hear from you! Please feel free to suggest and comment as much as you like!

Again welcome and remember to live, risk, and reign!

Gloria!